Identity Crisis

I was presented with a moment today which made me realize I am suffering from an identity crisis. Stay with me I promise this is not about the adolescence to adulthood crisis we all were faced with. 

I was at the local YMCA talking myself through my second swim for the week. Anyway, I had been there a while with the pool almost to myself which was rather nice for once. I noticed about halfway through my swim that a guy had started his laps in the lane next to mine. He got done with his laps a few moments before I was done with mine. I finished up my swim for the day and exited the pool. I saw the guy had sat down in the chair next to the one which contained all my stuff. As I am walking up he stands and says “excuse me, I hope you don’t mind me asking but are you a triathlete?” You know how time seems to slow down to a crawl and what really is 1-3 seconds seems like hours. Okay got the feeling? well that is what happened to me. I began to stutter – just an FYI I don’t normally stutter. So anyway here I am being faced with a simple non threatening question and I can’t seem to formulate an answer. 

That is when I realized I am in the middle of an identity crisis. The line between a runner transforming into a triathlete. At what point is it okay to consider yourself as a runner, swimmer, cyclist, triathlete? Is it a personal realization, do you need to successfully finish an event for the sport of choice, do you have to win an event, or do you simply have to just train in that sport or sports? When do you know? 

For me I did not have to win anything to know and define myself as a runner. Running is just part of me. I can’t imagine my life without it. It’s that simple. I run because I love to run. Now that I have discovered triathlons I have fallen in love with the mental and physical demands the sport requires. I love everything this journey has taught me along the way not only about the sport but also about myself. Honestly, I can’t ever see myself going back to “just” running.  

Yet there I was unable to say Yes to a simple question. For some reason I felt like I would be lying had I said yes. So my answer to him after what seemed like an eternity was “I’m trying to be, I have done one and am training for another which is this month.” I could see his eyes light up when he said “that is really cool, I have just started to train for my first sprint distance which I hope to do next season.” We carried on a short conversation about how he finds running the hardest part and I the swimming (which by the way he told me I looked super strong in the water –Yes this made my day!) about what type of bikes we had, and if I was part of a local tri group or self coached. His name is Jason and he wants to start swimming with me on Friday afternoons even though I kept telling him swimming was not my strong suit. I am thankful I met Jason and hopefully I will see him around again so I can watch him fall in love with the sport I have fallen in love with.  

As for considering or defining myself as a triathlete maybe my opinion will change after I cross the finish line on September 25, 2011.  

When did you know?  

Accountability and a Challenge.

As you all know by now I’m new to this triathlon thing. I have one Olympic distance tri under my sneakers and am 21 days away from attempting tri #2 the Augusta 70.3 HIM. (Just saying 21 days away makes me nervous) In the matter of 8 months I have transformed from just a runner to a swimmer, cyclist, runner. Now please don’t misunderstand my term “transformed” I’m not a strong fast swimmer or cyclist but I am attempting to be.

My weakness, by far, is the swimming. While I have the drive and desire to become better at swimming I have caught myself allowing excuses not to swim enter my world. I have an issue with excuses (I hit my wife/husband because, my child does not have clean clothing or food because, I only had 2 beers and drove because… I could go on and on but you get the point) I detest them. Excuses are just that excuses - the lack of taking responsibility for your own actions. Therefore a couple of weeks ago, when I realized I was allowing this plague into my training, I sent my blogger buddy KC over at 140 Point 6 Miles of Awesome a text telling her I was going to swim that day so that I could be held accountable. She surprised me by telling me she had also been slacking in the swim department. Now if you have been following KC you will know she is an amazing triathlete and missing some swimming for her is not going to set her back. I swear that lady is a fish in the water, a power house on the bike, and a cheetah on the run! Anyway she came up with the idea that we hold each other accountable till our perspective races (me the HIM her the IMFL). We made a promise to swim 2 times a weak till our race date. Let me tell you it has done WONDERS for my swimming. I have yet to miss a swim since. There have been days where I just did not want to go but I know she is waiting on my text saying swim # 1 – 2 is done with. My fear of letting someone down is greater than my dislike of swimming so it works for me. I have generally been good at self motivation but for whatever reason I needed to be held accountable for my swimming and I am thankful she is willing to play along.

Speaking of playing along…. Drum roll…. Would you all like to play along with KC’s challenge???

KC sent the ridiculously funny Beth over at Discom-BOB-ulated Running and I an email last week asking if we were up for one of her challenges. Of course like any A-Type personality I said HELL yes probably before I even knew what I was doing. Yes I was that kid that if you said “double dog dare you” on the playground I would die doing the challenge. (I think she knows this) I digress… This challenge is not just for Beth and I you all can play along too if you wish!

The objective is to do the one activity you dread the most 5 times within a 7 day stretch. It has to be done in the same week. The challenge must be completed before 12/31/11. There are rules and perimeters for each of 4 different activities so don’t think you can just run 1 mile 5 days in a row…

The rules based on the activity are:

Running: No less than a 5K (3.1 miles) for each run day.

Biking: No less than 12 miles for each day.

Swimming: No less than 1 mile each day

Weight training: No less than 30 minutes per day

Now if you’re asking what’s in it for you well its simple really… Self satisfaction that you not only just made yourself better at your “weakest” activity but you just conquered a full five days of something you dread. So are you in?????? Come play! 

I of course I will be doing my weakest most dreaded activity  - Running

Just Kidding me and the pool are going to be besties for five days!

Introducing

Blogger world I would like to introduce you all to the  newest member of my family. 

Insert Circle of Life song here. Yes I hate that I even thought of that reference. 

 

 

 

I was beginning to think he would never arrive. I had actually spent time looking for other bike options due to the shipping mishap. But I am glad I held out. From the moment I took him out of the box I knew he was where he was meant to be. Thus, it was time to find a name.

Interesting how things work out... Just this week as Matt and I were sitting on the beach in Coco Cay, Bahamas sipping on the island drink of the day and reading our separate books (me Lance Armstrongs newest The Making of the Worlds Greatest Champion. (very good read by the way) and Matt some business magazine full of facts and figures Blah). When I turned to him and simply said "I want to go to Hawaii one day" without even looking up from his reading he said "I know and we probably will but once will at least be for a vacation." "You know what for?" "Yup I know". That was the end of the conversation. I sat there for a while trying to figure out #1 how he knew, and #2 what I had just openly admitted I wanted to do (It may have been the island drink talking). Anyway, it was rather odd and I am still not sure where the goal came from but its out there.

As I pulled the bike from its box and sat it out to make sure everything was there I was struck by how detailed and vivid the color design was. The bike is different blues some of which contain a sparkle with white accents. There design seems to resemble waves of rip tides along the bike and the word Ironman is almost taunting you as it is written along the bike in three separate locations.

 

As I was exchanging excited (I finally got my bike) e-mails with KC I mentioned I wanted to come up with a good name. She sent an e-mail back suggesting I go with a Hawaiian name. After reading her suggestion my mind immediately went back to the previous conversation I had with Matt several days earlier. It was perfect, seemingly meant to be. The bike itself screams Hawaii. 

 

So I searched for the perfect Hawaiian term that would be fitting for the bike... I slept on it and as soon as I got up this morning and looked at the bike again I knew exactly what his name should be...

 

 

Koa [koh (w)ah] meaning Brave, Bold, Fearless.

 

All these things are things I am not when it comes to the bike. So I find it fitting his name is Koa so I can focus on his name and its meaning and gain these attributes and apply them in my ridding.

What, I'm Serious!

So I was sent a question through an anonymous source asking if I wear running gear when I go to court. I am guessing it’s due to this Q &A that is going around blogger land as to why I have gotten randomly emailed questions. I have been MIA for a moment so I did not even know about the whole Q&A thing and deleted some questions my apologies. But since you wanted to know…  

Of course I do! I think it's totally appropriate to wear my Nike Frees with the rest of my court room attire. No Really I do! 

Cancel the BOLO.

I guess I can start by saying it has been not just a minute but a Hot Minute. Sorry, for my absence in writing. I got the message the other morning as I was picking up my OJ in the gas station when I saw the milk carton with my face planted on the side. So cancel the BOLO I’m still here alive and well. No worries.

I am currently in week 8 of my 70.3 training. I decided going with a two-a-day schedule would be my best option when it came to getting my training in and I have stuck with it. I can gladly say I have only had one week, last week, which I feel was almost a complete waste. I don’t know what my problem was but I was just not on my game and each time I tried to run I would literally get sick to my stomach so I did not accomplish much but I am happy to say I have found my game face again. Let’s see my overall miles thus far are: Swim: “about” 7 miles, Bike: 405.05, Run: 119.09 and 21 strength sessions. Still plenty of time left, right…

It’s been interesting trying to juggle family, work, vacation, and training all in. I will say I have learned a ton from this increased training lifestyle. Time management being one big lesson learned. I am currently working the morning shift which is from 6:30am – 3pm so I start my day at 4am on the bike and get almost an hour in before work then as soon as I get off work I head straight to the gym and depending on what is on my schedule swim/run/lift, all three, or a combination. I am usually home right after the hubby gets home have my recovery drink, shower, cook dinner, clean up, get the uniform and gym bag ready for the next day, then go to bed. I feel like an “old old old” (none of you are that old) person since I am now asleep by 9. It’s crazy but I am worn out.

Another thing I have learned, trying to fit training sessions in on a vacation regardless of time length is difficult. My family had their annual Christmas in July vacation over the 4^th of July weekend and while I did get some good hill training in I still did not get as much done training wise as I would have had I been home under my normal routine.

How could I when I was surrounded by these adorable little kids for 3 days????  

This brings me to a question… I will be leaving in two weeks for 7 days of straight chillin with my hubby on the high seas/Bahamas thus missing my week 11 of training. This worries me. I know there is a gym on the ship that has the wonderful dreamill and bikes but I’m afraid my husband would be really upset if I spent hours plugging away in a gym while on our vacation… Sigh, so what do you all think is going on vacation supposed to only be about vacation or is it reasonable to expect to still work in some quality workouts? How do you fit training into your vacations??

I do have some interesting news… I decided to purchase a new ride. After consulting with KC on cycling specifics I settled on a Cannondale Ironman 5000 Dura Ace Triathlon bike that I had located on Ebay.

Meet the new addition.

I watched the bike for several days and decided to go after it since the price was what I thought to be a good deal. I placed my bet and won! Super excited. This was a week and 3 days ago now. I got home from work on Monday and saw a box on my front porch but when I opened it there was a set of Bontrager Aeolus 5.0 Carbon Tri tires (which are VERY nice) but not what I bought. I sent the seller an email and explained to him the mix up at which he responded to me by saying the bike store he took my bike and another persons wheelset to must have switched the orders thus giving me the tires and the other person my bike. He has yet to tell me what he is going to do to fix it. So I am still waiting on my bike. I am however, fairly sure someone who spent this much money on a wheelset already has a nice bike and will not opt to keep mine. I just wish they would send it back already and someone would tell me where to send the wheelset. I for one don’t feel right having someones item esp since they want their wheelset i'm sure as much as I want my bike. I sure hope this gets fixed this week.

 

Happy Training!  

Taking a leap

I spent two full weeks going back and forth on what I felt I "needed" to do vs. what I felt I "wanted" to do. Thus, I finally came to the conclusion that I tend to over-think things and I should just go where I felt lead. So I signed up for the Augusta 1/2 Ironman that will take place on September 25, 2011. I know I am no where near being ready for such a beast of a race but I can't help the pull I feel of such a challenge. I honestly don't have a clue where to even start training for such an event. I know what I need to do running wise since I have trained for the 13.1 miles in solo form but 1. I'M NOT A SWIMMER and 2. While I have enjoyed learning the whole cycling thing I'm not very strong there yet.
The finally push for me came to me in the cartoonist light bulb moment - you know the thoughts you get that just click right into place regardless of the countless hours you have spent searching for the correct answer. You see I have been helping a group, all middle aged gentlemen police officers, with their fitness desires. Some are wanting to be stronger, others just wanting to be healthy and feel better, and a few who just want to be able and run their first 5K (which a couple have done now =)). Anyway, I have written some lifting plans and I run with a group after work for as long as they want to run and at their pace. I have been doing this for about 8 months now. Anyway, I can remember at the beginning all the self doubts and fears they shared with me about starting a fitness plan. I did not always know the right thing to say but I would try and I know they look to me for support and motivation when it comes to their fitness. I don't know why I am not an expert at all in the area I just love anything to do with fitness and I guess that just tends to radiate off me at times. Anyway, it hit me.. Here I am telling these guys that sometimes we have to step outside our comfort zone in order to achieve something we want to achieve and yet I was struggling with the exact same thing I am preaching to them about. So there I was thinking how can I attempt to help them overcome their fears of training, distance, pace, whatever if I can't first say I have overcome my own. Just seems to be slightly hypocritical of me to do. So there you have it sometimes those light bulb moments are for the best. Ironman 70.3 Augusta I'm coming for you!

Where to go from here.

I feel lost without a race on my calendar literally just miserably lost. I need that goal to work towards. It’s odd since my workouts don’t suffer any it’s just my overall mental attitude. I don’t get mean or anything like that just somewhat dejected. I think a lot of this has to do with my career choice. I know I use training as my medication or my escape from the day to day ignorance iniquitous people I am surrounded with. I am okay with this fact because if you think of all the other ways one can de-stress I would say this has to be close to the healthiest. It gives me something to look forward to each day (other than my hubby) and keeps me focused.  Therefore, I have been searching for races during my free time in order to find something to work towards. 

Seconds after completing my first Tri I wanted to do it again. Addicting is not even a strong enough word for the pull I felt in the direction of this new creature. So I started looking for another Tri. I want to do another Olympic distance and get my time down but I also feel like taking it to the next level and attempting a 70.3. I may be a bit insane. I’m not sure I am capable of a 70.3 (the 70 miles will be okay but that .3 may kill me). I noticed the Augusta, Ga ½ Ironman is still open for September 25 2011. I just don’t know if I have enough time to get to where I would want to be. I have 17 weeks from this week but really it would be more like 16 weeks because I am taking Mathew to the Bahamas for a week for his MBA graduation gift in August. I know I will not do much while gone other than a little running. So I don’t think I should factor that week in. I turned in the request to have the weekend off of the ½ ironman but am still waiting on it to get approved from work. I don’t know what is taking them so long to approve it but it has given me time to flip/flop in my head my ability to complete such a distance. I just don’t know. Where do I start??? I have started getting up at 4am and riding my bike on the trainer for an hour before getting ready for work and I love the energy that provides me. I hit the gym on my way home and run and lift. I have yet to make it to the pool but it’s on schedule. I just don’t know I would hate to take on something I am not fully prepared for. All I know for sure is I need to find a race soon.